Sue Rosen
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Finding Freedom & Fulfilment

This is where I update you on my latest thoughts & research into all things relating to self-development!

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Do you need to recharge?

24/7/2015

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So here we are, half way through the year! This can be a great time to reflect on how we are going with those resolutions and goals we set at the beginning of the year but it can also be a time when here in Sydney we are very much fixed on the work treadmill and can’t seem to lift our eyes from our desks.

Particularly for those working in finance this time following the end of the financial year can be particularly busy and often stressful dealing with tight deadlines and demanding clients. In the midst of all this we can feel exhausted, run-down and frustrated that we are not making progress on any of our bigger picture dreams and goals.

If this is you then you are in what psychologists call the ‘survival zone’, which is where you are feeling sub-optimal, struggling through each day or week, with that constant low-level fatigue, which you can’t seem to shake off.

So how to recharge?

To keep the finance analogy going, there are plenty of finance audits underway at the moment, analysing how much money is being generated and how much being spent, but what about considering an energy audit of your personal well-being? If you are using more energy than you are generating then you will gradually run yourself down and your performance at work will suffer.

A study conducted by The Energy Project in conjunction with Harvard Business Review in late 2014 (read report here) identified 4 sources of personal energy and their impact on people in the workplace:

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Physical


We all know what we should be doing when it comes to looking after our physical health – focus on sleep, exercise, nutrition, so why aren’t we doing it?

An important starting point is making sure you have a good night’s sleep. Studies have shown that will-power and self-discipline are finite resources, which deplete when we are tired or hungry, so ensuring you have enough sleep and eat healthily will make all the difference to helping you find the energy to get out and exercise.

Find ways to schedule exercise into your diary so it becomes a priority. Tom Rath has lots of tips at www.eatmovesleep.org on how to make small changes in your daily routines, or commit to a new trainer or program to really switch things up a gear.

It’s also important to remember that studies suggest we need breaks every 90 minutes or every 45 after intense concentration so throughout the day take short breaks to stretch or walk around the block and get out in the sunshine to give you greater capacity to focus and think creatively.


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Emotional

The critical factors for fueling emotional energy are a sense of enjoyment and a sense of trust.

Increasing the positivity of our relationships and everyday interactions will yield great results in terms of improving our well-being. All the research in positive psychology has identified that we need 3-5 times as many positive interactions as negative ones to sustain a positive mood. If you can bring your full attention to your interactions with colleagues and focus on the positive aspects of the relationship then that will in itself become contagious, bringing a more uplifted vibe to the whole team. The impact will be even greater if you are leading a team, when making team members feel appreciated was shown to increase their engagement by 58%.

Ensure as well that you find some time each week to do something just for fun – playing is a great way to improve mood.


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Mental

Mindfulness is now being embraced by the corporate community as a fantastic way to counteract the continual distractions of technology and constant busy-ness of the average office.

Learning to meditate and taking 15 minutes in the middle of your day to centre yourself will release the build-up of stress in your body and mind and enable you to focus better in the afternoon. Even a ritual throughout the day of 3 deep breaths can help you regain your emotional equanimity and boost your decision making skills.


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Spiritual


Spiritual energy means finding meaning in what you do and the study found that no single factor influences people’s engagement with their job as much as deriving a sense of purpose from their work.

You may not feel that you work in an organisation with a grand purpose but you can still look for the small wins each day, ways in which you can help others. Small achievements and serving others have both been shown to be essential to the feeling of progress which drives us to do more.

Taking some time to reflect on your core values and consider why you do what you do can remind you of what’s really important. Even when on the surface you are working purely to earn a salary it is possible to reframe your ‘profit goal’ into a ‘purpose’ goal by focusing on using the money for your children’s education or for travelling to visit family or whatever is most important to you.


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Renewal = Peak Performance


Tempting as it is to chain ourselves to our desks in an attempt to get everything done this is when it is essential to break that cycle and build in small changes to our daily work-life so that we perform at our best.

Factoring in holidays and time-out from work is terrific but if we are to sustain high levels of performance we also need to ensure that we manage our energy on a day-to day basis, which will ultimately get us through the busy times without crashing and burning!





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f you would like support in re-energising your life please contact me at [email protected]


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Authenticity, what does it really mean?

11/6/2015

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There’s a lot of buzz around at the moment about being an authentic leader and bringing the real you to work but what does that mean for how we behave and interact with others?

Does it mean I should air my opinions at every opportunity? Does it mean that I should tell the new guy in the office that I have no interest in hearing about last night’s footy match?

And if I get authentic now does that mean that I wasn’t myself before? In fact if I have to learn to be authentic then how authentic am I now being? Who is the real me?

Is she the party girl who loves to do dancing ‘til dawn? (maybe not so much anymore!) Is she the nerd who always studied hard for exams? Is she the lazy slob who loves nothing better than to stay in bed until noon and hates doing housework, or the conscientious worker who never misses a deadline? Is she the super confident performer, or is she the shy woman who is too nervous to speak to strangers at networking events because why they would be interested in anything she has to say?

How can I bring all of this to the office? I will confuse myself let alone anyone else!

So what is authenticity?

In trying to resolve my confusion I have been doing a lot of reading around values, strengths and emotional intelligence. Recently I read an excellent article by Bill George in the Harvard Business Review (Discovering your authentic leadership) which helped me figure this out.

George identified authenticity as knowing what is really important to you and then aligning your actions with your values so that you can consistently practice and convey your values to others. It means to get in touch with what is really inside your heart so that you can discover or rediscover your passions and then learn to let your heart lead you as well as your head.

You need to understand your own story so that you figure out what really motivates you and find ways you can stay true to yourself whilst juggling work, family, personal health and social life.

However it is not enough to say “this is who I am, take me or leave me!”

We must also be willing to keep learning and growing. Another great article in HBR by Herminia Ibarra (The Authenticity Paradox) identifies that it is tempting for us to rely on our usual behaviours when we are challenged but that to achieve growth we must move out of our comfort zone and do things which may not come naturally. This may mean that we need to “fake it until we make it” because we need to learn from the experience of doing something new.

We all know that in different social settings we instinctively adapt our style of communication – how you banter with your mates at a bar may be a long way from how you speak at a corporate function and yet it doesn’t mean that one is inauthentic. It indicates that you are tuning in to the social signs about what is acceptable. Now sometimes people take this too far and in being chameleon-like they come across as insincere, yet if you don’t modify your behaviour according to circumstances you will probably strike people as socially inept!

Keep evolving & be prepared to change

We should be prepared to try on many leadership and communication styles as we progress in our careers as what worked in one setting may not in another and if we become too stuck in a single “but this is how I do it” mindset we shut ourselves off to the possibilities of adaptability. Some of those stories which created who we are today have passed their use-by date so we must keep evolving and revising our view of our authentic self. It can be helpful to look at some of those old stories from a fresh perspective so that we reframe our view of ourselves in a way which allows us to move forward.

Trying new communication styles or ways of interacting with people does feel strange but if we see these as all part of our learning then we needn’t be so afraid of failing or letting others down. Find multiple role models and learn from all of them so that rather than trying to copy one you develop your own voice.

Our experiences and our interpretation of them play an integral role in shaping who we are and by continually pushing the boundaries of those experiences and learning from them we can fundamentally change how we interact with others – without needing a personality transplant!!

All the latest research on the benefits of having a growth mindset show that we are never too old to keep learning and growing so if we are open-minded we continue to improve all of our relationships.

As Muhammed Ali once said “A man who views the world the same at 50 as he did at 20 has wasted 30 years of his life.”

If you would like help in reframing your stories and exploring your values and strengths please contact me at [email protected]



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Stop telling me to follow my dream!!

19/5/2015

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OK, Mr Motivational Guru, so I could pack in my well-paid career, enrol in drama school and become a world famous Hollywood star! And that would fall into place because of the positive affirmations I would recite every day and the passion I would bring to my roles? Or then again, perhaps not?

We’ve all read that following your passion will be your path to success and I don’t suppose that I’m the only one who has cynically rolled their eyes and wondered who will pay the mortgage whilst I try and find myself and pursue my ‘true’ destiny!

And sometimes I look at those infographics which demonstrate how some very influential people redesigned their career and I laugh out loud! Because most of them made the change by the ripe old age of 30!

The examples post-40 are much less common so it’s easy to become stuck and feel like you have no choice.

There are many barriers, such as a mortgage and school fees, which mean we are loathe to move on from a well-paid position to something riskier and probably less financially rewarding (at least in the short term). There are also non-financial constraints such as the desire to meet the expectations of our family. They want us to be happy but they also expect us to be there for them and I want to be able to provide for them so I can’t just say to hell with what everyone thinks.

Acceptance is NOT Resignation

Sometimes you have to accept where you are at right now and acknowledge that this may not be your dream job but it’s ok for this stage of your life.

When my children were very young I was in a role I was unhappy with and I felt frustrated and trapped. Outwardly I had it all: I was well-paid and worked part-time so I could spend time with the kids but I felt unfulfilled and I was internally fighting against the situation. It was through my first experience of being coached that I realised that my constant railing against the situation was actually making me unhappier.

I discovered that if I focused on gratitude for what I did have and accepted that this job was not forever but worked well for this stage of my life then I became more relaxed and positive. I rediscovered my love of dancing and acting which resulted in my attitude improving so my work performance improved and coming to work got easier again.

I was speaking with a client recently and unlike me she is in a place of acceptance. She has 2 young children and her husband has chosen to be the stay-at-home carer. She works full-time in a management position, which she happily describes as “ok for the stage we are at”.

That’s great, yet I would still urge her to not forget the dreams completely but keep building small things into her career and life which will help her move forward.

Acceptance is a positive understanding of why you are where you are, which allows you the freedom to search for a way forward.

Resignation is a defeatist response which brings your mood down and prohibits you from finding an appropriate next step.

YOU ALWAYS HAVE A CHOICE!

There are so many things you can do to keep the long-term journey going in the right direction.

What do you mean your dream is impossible?

So if your dream as a child, which you secretly still harbour, is that of being an astronaut, then admittedly it is a little tricky to achieve once you are over 40! However what you can do is look at what aspects of that dream still excite you – does it appeal to your sense of adventure? The desire to be at the cutting edge of science? The physical challenge?

Consider how you might bring these elements into your everyday life – set yourself a tough physical challenge such as a marathon or a major hike, book sky-diving lessons if you are looking for an adrenaline rush, plan an adventure holiday, take a science course.

Ken Robinson’s excellent book “The Element” talks about finding that point at which your natural talent meets your personal passion and he acknowledges that even if you cannot pursue your element full-time the enjoyment you get from it will enhance even the dreariest job as you become a more fulfilled individual.

I know a senior recruitment executive who plays in a rock band, a maths teacher who is a belly dancer and personally I hop on a stage at every opportunity!

Not even sure what your dream is?

Then try something new – shift your focus to a new activity which appeals just for the sheer fun of it – take trapeze classes, join a new book club, watch a sport you’ve never watched before, visit a new art gallery. Trying new things will charge up neurons in your brain which may have long been dormant and you’ll meet new people, broadening your mind and opening your eyes to new possibilities. Even if you don’t immediately discover a burning passion you will learn new skills and have some laughs along the way.

My only advice is to not give up on the dreams altogether. Keep looking long-term and build small things in to your work and life which will support you whatever move you choose to make later.

ALLOW YOURSELF TO DREAM….

THEN TAKE ACTION (even if it’s baby steps and not a giant leap of faith!!)

If you would like support in building your plans to move forward, or figuring out how to incorporate your strengths and talents into your working life more consistently contact me at [email protected]


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